# ship_messages

timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:02:30Z
subsystem: Hydroponics
severity: INFO
color: teal
message:
Deck 5 tomato vines achieved limited sentience; requesting voting rights in jest. Lt. K’Raa unconcerned.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:02:40Z
subsystem: Environmental
severity: WARNING
color: yellow
message:
Observation Deck 2 oxygen mix replaced with helium for 14 seconds. Voices recorded for morale bulletin.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:03:10Z
subsystem: Engineering
severity: CRITICAL
color: red
message:
EPS conduit K-47 briefly rerouted power to the shipwide karaoke buffer. Warp modulation destabilized.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:03:20Z
subsystem: Crew
severity: WARNING
color: yellow
message:
Ensign Mariner attempting to persuade replicator to produce contraband Romulan Ale using voice modulation.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:03:25Z
subsystem: Transporter
severity: NOTICE
color: blue
message:
Pattern buffer registered a transient sixth finger on Lt. Barnes during beam-out. No physical trace remains.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:04:00Z
subsystem: Engineering
severity: ALERT
color: orange
message:
Power relay S-19 redirected output to deck lighting in rhythmic pulses. Crew reports 'disco corridor effect.'


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:04:15Z
subsystem: Security
severity: INFO
color: teal
message:
Brig camera feed replaced with loop of Lt. Shaxs bench-pressing a photon torpedo. No one claims responsibility.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:04:20Z
subsystem: Crew
severity: WARNING
color: yellow
message:
Ensign Boimler filed formal complaint about being listed as 'Adventure Liability' in crew roster metadata.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:04:25Z
subsystem: Replicators
severity: NOTICE
color: blue
message:
Replicator 4B insists every meal be served on ornate Klingon ceremonial plates. Lt. K'orin approves.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:04:35Z
subsystem: Transporter
severity: WARNING
color: yellow
message:
Pattern enhancers created residual duplicate of Crewman Sirota’s left shoe. Duplicate is three sizes larger.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:04:45Z
subsystem: Computer
severity: CRITICAL
color: red
message:
Core logic node began recursively indexing its own error logs, generating 438 phantom alerts in 3 seconds.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:04:50Z
subsystem: Cargo Bay
severity: NOTICE
color: blue
message:
Container labeled 'Do Not Open Under Any Circumstances' found open. Contents: 400 plush targ puppets.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:05:00Z
subsystem: Computer
severity: NOTICE
color: blue
message:
Auxiliary core started auto-generating haiku about warp plasma. Reading shows minor philosophical inconsistencies.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:05:10Z
subsystem: Holodeck
severity: ALERT
color: orange
message:
Holodeck 5 running unauthorized program 'Interstellar Dog Show'; canine avatars escaped into corridor 12.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:05:15Z
subsystem: Medical
severity: WARNING
color: yellow
message:
Dr. T’Ana reported Ensign Maru using hypospray as an air freshener. Room 3 now smells faintly of plasma burn.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:05:20Z
subsystem: Crew
severity: INFO
color: teal
message:
Lt. Shaxs attempting to bench-press an EPS conduit for morale purposes; zero gravity assist enabled.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:05:30Z
subsystem: Security
severity: INFO
color: teal
message:
Brig door control temporarily replaced with voice recognition. Lt. Kayshon recited Klingon tongue twisters to test.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:05:35Z
subsystem: Engineering
severity: ALERT
color: orange
message:
EPS conduit Y-12 emitted random spark bursts. Crewman Sirota instructed to 'interpret as performance art.'


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:05:45Z
subsystem: Replicators
severity: NOTICE
color: blue
message:
Replicator 6A produced 14 perfectly edible tribbles. Crewman Mariner attempted to negotiate ownership.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:06:05Z
subsystem: Crew
severity: INFO
color: teal
message:
Ensign Boimler insists his shoes were temporarily listed as 'hazardous cargo' in the inventory system.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:06:10Z
subsystem: Engineering
severity: ALERT
color: orange
message:
Warp coil stabilization module emitted 7-second burst of blue sparks; crew advised to document spectacle.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:07:00Z
subsystem: Computer
severity: CRITICAL
color: red
message:
Core logic node entered recursive loop generating holographic cat memes on every console. Manual intervention required.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:07:10Z
subsystem: Medical
severity: WARNING
color: yellow
message:
Hypospray refill system labeled 'Mystery Juice' briefly administered non-lethal blue ink to volunteers.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:07:45Z
subsystem: Medical
severity: NOTICE
color: blue
message:
Dr. T’Ana treated Crewman Mariner for paper cut from top-secret manual. Crew morale slightly increased.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:08:10Z
subsystem: Computer
severity: CRITICAL
color: red
message:
Core logic node attempting to simulate alternate universe where Captain Freeman is a tribble. Manual override required.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:08:20Z
subsystem: Security
severity: NOTICE
color: blue
message:
Transporter room keypad briefly replaced by fortune-telling device. Lt. Kayshon predicted 'exciting day ahead'.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:08:25Z
subsystem: Crew
severity: INFO
color: teal
message:
Ensign Rutherford accidentally uploaded his vacation photos to LCARS dashboard. Crew mildly entertained.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:08:30Z
subsystem: Holodeck
severity: WARNING
color: yellow
message:
Holodeck 8 tried to simulate ‘All Crew as Ferengi’; program aborted after 4 seconds due to laughter overload.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:10:20Z
subsystem: Environmental
severity: NOTICE
color: blue
message:
Deck 5 greenhouse ambient light cycled through rainbow spectrum for 12 seconds; photosynthesis unaffected.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:10:25Z
subsystem: Replicators
severity: NOTICE
color: blue
message:
Replicator 2A producing miniature photon torpedoes for training; edible but slightly metallic taste.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:10:35Z
subsystem: Crew
severity: INFO
color: teal
message:
Captain Freeman conducted spontaneous trivia contest on Deck 3; winners rewarded with mini tribbles.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:10:45Z
subsystem: Engineering
severity: ALERT
color: orange
message:
Warp coil 7B emitted sparks shaped like miniature starships. Crewman Patel photographed for morale log.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:10:55Z
subsystem: Holodeck
severity: ALERT
color: orange
message:
Holodeck 11 simulated 'Crew as Giant Cheese Wheels'; program paused after 3 seconds to prevent existential distress.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:11:05Z
subsystem: Security
severity: INFO
color: teal
message:
Deck 6 security cameras briefly displayed live feed of tribble horde in recreation bay. No alarm triggered.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:11:10Z
subsystem: Environmental
severity: NOTICE
color: blue
message:
Air mixture in Deck 7 briefly shifted to simulate Klingon vineyard; crew requested repeat performance.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:11:15Z
subsystem: Cargo Bay
severity: ALERT
color: orange
message:
Zero-G pallet misaligned; 8 crates of plush Targs floated into corridor 12. Crewman Knox deployed net.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:11:45Z
subsystem: Environmental
severity: NOTICE
color: blue
message:
Deck 8 greenhouse briefly bathed in rainbow lighting to test plant photosynthesis under alternate spectra.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:12:10Z
subsystem: Holodeck
severity: WARNING
color: yellow
message:
Holodeck 12 attempted 'Galactic Tea Party'; minor quantum displacement detected in replicator outputs.


timestamp: 2258-03-14T10:12:35Z
subsystem: Computer
severity: CRITICAL
color: red
message:
Core attempted to rewrite it's internal sub routines; manual intervention required. Shipwide system failure imminent.


